Movie

Thinking of bringing my girls to watch movie tomolo since my lesson is cancelled last min. Thinking of watching rise of the guardians.but i think the timing my san san may fall asleep inside. But dont have better timing, and dun want to travel to other cinemas though price may be cheaper by half. I think i dont have that kind of energy level to bring them taking public transport here and there. Northpoint should be a better option. But pay more for the tickets.see how tomolo.

再重温

今天又看了一集「我可能不会爱你」。特别喜欢最后的三集。因为有很多内心戏。也很喜欢程，李，丁，这三个人关系的处理。很圆满，很自然。让原本要忏悔的程，撞见了劈腿的丁，这样把原本的罪恶感消除了。让男女主角顺理成章成为一对。很喜欢这样的转折。那一幕特别惊心。觉得不是相爱就适合婚姻这样的制度。就算很爱很爱也未必适合。因为婚姻是需要经营的，单靠爱无法维系。也许不用很爱，但很合适的两个人组成的婚姻关系能维系更久。要维系好婚姻，要妥协，要迁就，要退让，要成全，要宽容，要包容，要体谅，要信任。。。。。。太轰轰烈烈的爱或许做不到。因为很多时候是理智来决定而不是凭感觉。生活其实就是那么一回事。

想说

心里有很多话想说。 但是却不能用「说」的。 没有很在意是不是有人在听。 其实已经很习惯自己成为唯一的聆听者。 毕竟让自己成为最了解自己的人并没有什么不好。 有些事说出去也挺没意思的。 听的人如果没用心， 还倒不如不说。 没有开心，至少不至于不开心。

重温

今天重温了一集「我可能不会爱你」。 「李大仁」真的就是＂理想情人＂的化身。 每个女人都希望身边有一个这样的人。 但是我常常想，这个可以＂聊一聊＂的人如果真的就变成了自己的另一半以后， 还会不会是最初的那个知己？ 可能就不再是那个你有事情想聊一聊的对象了。 这个「李大仁」的位置或许只能处于一种暧昧关系。

Strike

My views on these two days, the smrt prc drivers strike news. An irresposible act. There are some people who say these people are brave etc. dare to fight for their rights etc. yah yah yah...at the expense of others. This is just not right. What happen to the commuters? So if teacher also like that, not happy not happy go on strike can or not? So students just leave one side...like that can? Is that call bravery?sorry lor...i dun agree. These people i am sure before they came already know what is the pay like. So if you accept the terms and conditions, you come. If you dont agree, dont come. Dont come liao and start to compare. Comparing is endless. And also please compare apple to apple. You got free lodging, malaysian dont have. So they have higher pay cannot meh. Why you not happy?rental in spore is not cheap also, so everything add up, pay more or less the same lah, so please dont ask too much. And your driving skills sucks. If you want more pay, can, please go and make sure you understand spore traffic rules and correct way to drive. Here is not u like to turn u turn, no people can just drive. Follow traffic rule ok. I dont mind paying a bit more for safety, but for poor quality service like this, i think you go back home better. 对事不对人。just my views.

Always sick

Why always sick....if i divide the number of days in a year, half the time i am sick....so its like one week sick, one week well, follow by another week sick, another week well.....endless.so so tired.

Bad flu

I am down with bad flu. Cough. Stuffy nose. Sore throat. Still have medicine from last month doc visit. I took the same medicine and see how. San san still no appetite to eat. Drink only a bit water. Watery stools. But fewer times already. Still in bad mood. But yesterday night, she still dance for the childcare graduation concert. Intially i want to keep her at home. But the teacher and principal phone me, say she is very important in the concert and they will take care of her. Will change diapers for her etc. so i say ok. Luckily she din faint during dance. She has not eaten for 3 days already. And with so little fluid intake, i think she is going to be dyhadrated. But her character is so strong, very difficult to get her to eat or to drink.if still like that, very soon we have to send her to hospital for drip.

Seen pd

Just bring my san san seen pd. this morning she woke up and start talking nonsense, scare me. Asking me to carry her high high so that she can see animals. Then keep pointing at curtain say want to see whatever. And say got lizard on ceiling when there isnt any. I suspect she is having fever and her mind in state of confusion. Put all those previous images together and say. On the way to pd, she pass motion. Say stomachache. Watery stools. I got to buy diaper from ntuc and wet tissue. And change for her at the clinic toilet. I think for the next few days, have to put her on diapers just in case she suddenly pass motion. After seen doc, buy some milo, corn flakes from ntuc. She din eat breakfast, no appetite, so i guess she can eat abit of the milo later. Since she cannot take milk now.just fed her another round of medicine. She is sleeping now. My leng leng is in sch today.

Again

My san san after i fed her the fever medicine, vomitted again. All the mediicne came out. I dont know if i should give her another round of new medicine or not. I think i moniter and see how. If not feed again, throws up again, then no use also.i think i dont need to sleep liao since a few more hours the morning sun will rise.

Not eating

My big girl has not been eating for the past one week plus. Really no eating. Din eat breakfast, lunch and dinner. She has got total no appetite. I really afraid she will faint from hunger. But luckily she still willing to drink. So she drinks about 3 packet of milk per day. But those children milk in small packet. She is already so skinny, now even worse. Sometimes i can feel that she is hungry, but she refuse to admit so, and she refuse to take in any food. If we force her to eat, her face will turn pale, and she will cry. If we dont force her, all ok. Except that she will reach a stage whereby she will have no strength and no energy to do things. Probably just lie there, because of hunger. I really dun know how to deal with her. I shall wait another two days. After friday graduation concert, if she still give me this kind of nonsense, i will really force her to eat. How can go without food for weeks.

Busy night

I shall just keep myself awake for another one hour, since san san medicine time is near. Just now she vomitted. And i have to clear the mess and change the bedsheet. Luckily there is mattress protector. So now i am doing washing and at the same time waiting for her next medicine timing.Her stomach also not too good. She had watery stools. Three times already. Fever is very high. Even after medication. So i have to be really careful. Have to moniter her every hour. Fever plus vomitting plus watery stools, seems like a stomach flu virus.......tomorrow have to bring her see doc. Cannot bring my mum and little june out liao. Friday is concert day....dun know she will be ok to perform or not. Recently the whole family sick one after another. Currently my sis in law having hfmd. Should be the same virus that we kena two weeks ago. So we din go over my in law house since last weds. Have to wait until next week then can go over. But same virus, probably will not kena twice. Read from somewhere, hfmd is like dengue, got a few different virus type. Kena one type, next time will not kena the same type again. But really very suay right....keep falling sick...but also can consider lucky as sickness all come at this time, which is one of my most free timing. Sch holidays. I dont have much lessons this period. Can have more time look after them and of coz recover from my own sickness.

眼界

用眼睛看到的世界真的很小。 是真的。 用心看到的世界很大。 是真的。

San san fever

Just discover san san having fever. So sudden. Was still wondering why she is not sleeping yet. I think she was feeling very hot, thats why cannot sleep. I just fed her fever medicine. Will check on her again 4 hours later. Have to set my alarm. Still thinking tomolo bring my little june back. Now seems like not gd to do so. See how tomolo morning. I supposed to bring my mum and little june out to walk walk see see.

Psle result

Psle result releasing soon. Hope my two students can both get A for chinese.

失调

最近好像什么都有点失调，特别是免疫系统。 生病的频率已经失控。 而且说来就来，已经可以在几个小时内发作。 感冒变成家常便饭。 不知道是不是每个月的这个时候最容易生病。 感觉就是喉咙怪怪的，咳嗽又来袭。 希望能够控制住。 因为最近我的心情变差，脾气变坏， 什么都失调。

等待好消息

阿莲已经在医院待产了。 再过几个小时应该就会传来好消息了。 欢迎她加入＂妈妈＂行列。 不得安眠的夜晚才刚刚开始而已。 辛苦了！

好难

想活在当下， 好难。 不想过去，不想未来， 好难。 真的就不是想做就能做到的。 原来“当下”只是某些人的专利。 不管后天怎么努力都斗不过与生俱来的能力。

好的事情

最近有以前教过的学生要结婚了，也有学生大学毕业。 人生的道路每个人一路走来都不同。 有的辛苦一点，有的轻松一点。 不管怎样，风雨过后总能见到彩虹。 我一直都认为一路走来更艰辛的人，会比其他平顺一生的人更懂得珍惜。 因为要走不一样的路，需要多大的决心，一般人难以想象。 最后做到了，一切的辛苦都值得。 我相信这位学有所成的学生将来一定能凭她的毅力和决心，克服其他困难。 因为那一年，我看到她眼神中的斗志。 那么坚定的信念，那么长时间的坚持。 她的成功是因为她能坚持下去。 这样的精神不是什么人都能做到的。 我也希望她将来的路能走得更平顺，更踏实。 因为辛苦过了，也该是苦尽甘来的时候了。 继续加油！

Living in the moment

I like this phrase. "Living in the moment". "Moment"--当下。 活在当下。 "Yesterday is gone.tomorrow has not yet come.we have only today. Let us begin."---mother teresa.

Flight or fight

My big girl seems to be so stressful with whatever thing, i suspect its the concert. Today is the rehearsal for the concert and she cry when going to school. She has not been eating well for the past one week. She skip almost all her dinners. I know the feeling of being scare of standing infront of everyone. I used to be this kind of kid when i was young, but how young or when did situation gets better, i dont remember. But i dont think i have a choice, when it comes to flight or fight, i am always left to fight. But nowadays, kids seems to choose flight very naturally. Regardless of how frightened i was last time, i think i am always stuck with fight, maybe if i had a choice, i would choose flight as well. How should i make her be more resilient?i reassure her so many times that it doesnt matter if she did well or not. As long as she do her best its gd enough. I am not those kind of kiasu parents. Most important is try, even if try and failed, also nevermind.