Fun time

Today we go durian picking.and we also try going the crayfish catching. But raining, so din go catch. But its quite fun. Manage to find a few durians. Maybe durian picking will become one of our new hobby.

有趣

魔头杉把樟宜机场念成＂chinese airport"。 而且不允许我们纠正她的错误。 小君君的句子结构也是天才级的。 看见我在写东西，竟然问我＂妈妈，什么在写？＂ ＂在写什么＂变成了＂什么在写＂。 看来之后还会有很多天才句子。

开学心情

魔头伶快开学了。上小一了。好像距离长大，跨出了很大的一步。 她没有紧张的情绪，仿佛一切是那么自然而然发生。 或许她的情绪也是慢慢沉淀下来的，现在还没到那个阶段。 但是我这个当妈的，却非常兴奋。有忙不完的事。 要修改校裙，准备文具，检查书包，准备饭盒， 每一样小事对我而言都是大事。 我的魔头伶离长大越来越近了。 希望再快些，却也希望慢点儿。 因为她长大也意味着自己老了。 很怕时间老人在后面追着我的感觉。 如果在世界的某个角落，有人在等我的话， 那一定是时间老人了。

没资格

今天有意搜索了两所本地学府的师资状况。 发现虽然不是什么名校，只是稍微和主流学校不同罢了，但是每一位教师的履历竟然有一整页。 什么某某大学毕业，什么奖学金得主，什么一等，二等荣誉学位，硕士，得什么奖，参加什么活动，作出什么贡献。有些是很惊人的成就。有些是鸡毛蒜皮的小事。我很怕看见这样的履历，因为自己写不出这种流水账的成就。每次做什么年底评估，都没法写出什么，好像都是份内的事，写什么写。没意思。都没有什么大事可写。所以总是一小段就能总结全年的一切。大家都在做的，份内的事，我总觉得真的没必要写。应当如此，没什么了不起。我没有写履历的能力，看到每个人拼了命，美化自己，心里不知道是什么样的一种滋味。反正我做不到。如果按照写履历的能力，我真的没有资格成为师资团队的一员。我只是我，就是我，没有什么履历不履历，不会为谁写什么为自己加分的东西。这不是我的作风，不是我想做的。我没有必要随波逐流，做回自己不是更自在吗？

一点都不赞

请别在脸书上载或分享那些恐怖，恶心又令人同情的照片。 虽然照片附上＂觉得可怜就按赞＂，或是按赞之后有什么什么捐款之类的话。 但是很多时候，这个＂赞＂我真的按不下去。 感觉像前方明明就是一坨大便，对方却告诉你，吃下去之后并不是大便的味道，而且还可口无比。 这个感觉真的不行。每天都这样。真的不行。别再刺激我的脑神经还有仅存的同情心。 这样的照片还能按赞的话，感觉很没人性。等有了＂不赞＂这样的选择后，才分享这样的画面吧。 违反自然的选择，没办法选，没办法按赞。

Visit nie

Today i went back nie. But now is sch vacation, so the campus is quite deserted. And i scan through the lecturers list, only 3 familiar names. And only one is well respected. One i dun like, and one not much feelings. So i went up to her office, but she was away on leave. Have not seen her for 6-7 years i think.i went to the bookshop, bought a card. Wrote something, and left in her letter box. A bit sad with all the changes in the campus. In future also dun have to go bk, becoz there really isnt anyone there. All those good lecturers either being sent off, retired, or work somewhere else. Initially wanted to see if ron wants to go together with me, but he is still overseas. Sometimes i really envy him, with all the freedom, and aspirations. He is planning to go australia to teach. But of coz everything is a package. So the kind of life each and everyone choose all lead to different outcome. To settle down, there are pros and cons. To be single, there are also pros and cons. Cant have the best of both worlds.

充实的一天

今天是圣诞节。早上带三只魔头到机场，玩了半天。吃了午餐后，到实里达蓄水池看猴子。然后看看在那里活动的人们都在做些什么。很多人在浅水的地方，很多石块堆积处，在捉大虾。看起来还蛮有趣的。我想老爸应该会很喜欢这样的活动。其实我也很喜欢，因为有种神秘感和未知感。觉得充满惊喜。小时候住在甘榜，每天就过着捉鱼，捉蚱蜢，捉蜻蜓的日子。玩的都是很大自然的东西。爬树，采水果，到小溪里捉鱼虾。很怀念那时的生活。虽然是很短暂的回忆，但是毕竟也曾经拥有。现在的孩子不可能再体验那种生活。现在的孩子，可能碰触草地都会引起皮肤过敏。魔头杉好像就是这样。从那里回来后，就过敏了。像被蚊子叮，但又不是。奇痒无比，都无法入睡。希望明天早上起来，会好一点。

一生无缘

刚赶工看完了「半生缘」。最经典的应该就是那句＂我们回不去了＂。这句话也出现在「犀利人妻」里，经典台词。 看完小说，感觉就像世界末日，心都凉了半截。风格是非常张爱玲，和我之前看过的几篇小说很相似。故事里都有＂去势＂的男主人公。都是些懦弱，无能，可耻的家伙。在家庭里，也常常缺席。就是一种颠覆父权的表现。还有一贯的女性受害者，是受害人也是害人者。像故事里的顾曼璐，迫害自己的妹妹。很多作品都有这样的剧情。受害与迫害。还有＂疯女人＂形象。在很多故事中，这个意象很常出现。在「半生缘」里，有刻画顾曼璐像疯女人的文字，而顾曼桢被囚禁的那一年，整个感觉就是一个歇斯底里的疯女形象。还有那一贯的＂苍凉＂，＂苍茫＂的文字风格。看完之后，真的就是整颗心都荒凉一片。觉得这部作品在时间的处理方面非常细腻，时间在这里是个很敏感的关键词。「半生缘」这个书名，就已经有很强烈的时间概念。看到的不是半生缘，而是一生无缘。作品中的家庭，竟然没有一个是幸福圆满的。每一个都是无缘的一种结合。有些人和伤口一样，没有碰到是不觉得痛的。其实我还蛮讨厌故事中的男人，除了那个医生之外，其他的男人感觉都很逊。男主角也一样，如果他不是那么懦弱和多疑，女主角的遭遇应该不会那么悲惨。小说里的男主人公都非常欠缺勇气，想要的都没有勇气去争取。因为这样退而求其次，最后换来的都不是自己真正想要的。为什么只有半生的缘，一生无缘，很多时候是自己造成的。可能是因为错过，可能是因为选错，有太多的可能性。虽然我蛮喜欢张爱玲的作品，但是我不喜欢这种非常末日的感觉。＂我们回不去了＂，时间回不去的。

突然想看

明年的华艺节，有两个舞台剧是我还蛮想看的。只是现在才买票，最便宜的票都售完了。 也没有为什么，就是一种感觉。想看这两部。 选了星期天下午的那场，比较容易脱身。趁魔头们在睡午觉，又有人帮忙照顾，应该是最佳时间了。 有时候就会心血来潮，想看一些演出。 其实也有一两个演唱会是我蛮想去的。但是想想还是省下钱比较好。每个月的开销实在太大了。 有时候可以顺着心意，有时候却需要克制太多的欲望。

Christmas stay

My little june is back with me for a short christmas stay. From tonight till weds morning. Will send her back jurong on weds. The two big monsters go childcare. And i can go out with hubby on weds. Have not gone out just the two of us, for a long time. And thurs, will probably run some errands. Then friday, i have lessons from morning to evening. Weekend, probably bring the monsters out to have some fun.

末日留言

发现我常常在末日留言。 一天快结束的时候也能叫末日吧。 一日之末。 临睡前最喜欢写点无聊东西。 很多时候不是写实， 所以不需要太认真。 有时候看偶像剧太无聊了， 觉得剧情烂透了，倒很想自己也来写写故事。 但是从来就没有成功写出一篇小说。怎么写都只能写出散文。 还蛮想挑战这个不可能的任务。

半辈子的缘

看过张爱玲的蛮多作品。因为念书的时候需要看，但也很喜欢她的style.还是有好多作品没看过。今天从图书馆借了一本「半生缘」回来。希望能很快看完。一个人的半生究竟能有多少的缘分，怎样的缘分？缘分真的就是很神奇的东西，但是即便是再神奇的事物，也一样能好好的控制和驾驭，不至于泛滥成灾。关键在于你想不想，有没有努力去控制它，还是你根本不介意受控于它。跟一个人有半生的缘好呢，还是半生里跟不同的人有缘好呢？这是看书名后的无聊想法，书的内容还没看。所以和书的内容并无关系。

忘了

忘了，并不是不在乎。 忘了，是因为太习惯。 太习惯某样事物的存在， 所以忘了它存在的意义。 所以忘了它也曾经不存在。 所以忘了它最初存在的价值。 因为太熟悉，反而疏离。 因为太安定，反而冷却了。 感情往往是这样，因为不安定，因为存在着未知，因为不确定， 所以变得神秘，变得刺激，变得新鲜，变得向往。 但是确定下来后，就很难再有那种＂怦然＂的感觉。 没有并不是不在乎。 因为我一直确信，感情必须升华。 不管哪一种感情都一样。 友情也是。但是很难为升华下定义。 但是忘了真的不是不在意。 忘了，有时候是因为很在意，有时候是因为太习惯。 有些是刻意想忘记，最后也确实随着年龄的增长，记忆随自然的退化一起抹去。 有些是不想忘记，但是也一并随着年龄的增长，毫无选择地失忆。 并不是老庄哲学里的最高境界。真的就只是很无奈地失忆。

丢了

快乐弄丢了，要去哪里找回来？ 忘了，如果忘了它曾经到过的地方，要怎样找到它？

猜不透

我应该是个猜不透的人。 也许不是这样，可能只是心情的关系。 我不喜欢缅怀没有意义的人和事。 并不是不念旧，只是很多时候感情基础对我来说更为重要。 如果那些曾经都只是路人甲乙丙丁， 真的没有必要在现在这个时候有什么牵扯关系。 我不喜欢比较。因为每个人都有自己的生活方式， 有自己的专长和兴趣。你不是他，我也不是你。 没有必要羡慕别人日子过得写意或是谁谁谁有什么辉煌成绩。 因为在我看来，很多事情不过如此而已。 只要有心，只要愿意，天时地利加人和的关系， 很多事情就能无往不利。 可能是心情的关系。我并没有要任何人了解我的思绪。 只是有时候还是会觉得自己被孤立，觉得有点儿空虚。 有时候自己也猜不透自己， 所以可以理解你这么快就放弃。 我没有很在意，只是你的不曾努力让我有小小的失望而已。

劫后余生

所谓的末日过了。 大家都安然无恙吧。 劫后余生的感觉如何？ 现在还是冬至。 今天又是冬至又是末日。 大家各忙各的。 一天就这样过去了。 以后再说有末日，都别信了。 信了，才是真的末日。

好累

今天好累。 又到生理期。怎么和所谓的末日撞在一起。 今天和老妈还有小君君出门。到了傍晚赶回来接两个魔头。 间中还要去图书馆帮她们借书，还要帮她们买新鞋，还要打包晚餐回来。 吃了晚饭后，还要带她们去美术班，然后再接她们回家。 到了晚上十点才有时间洗澡。 还要洗衣，还要思考。。。。。。 然后好累，好想睡，但是衣服还没洗好。 还可以先看一集偶像剧。 明天要早起，因为答应魔头们要煮汤圆当早餐。 还是好累。。。。。。

等待

等待喂药的时间。还有半个小时。不想用这段时间睡觉，因为一下子又要醒来。不想再看戏剧，因为真的有点儿累了。魔头杉刚才的体温有回升的迹象。所以还是准时在每四小时喂药。早上还要上课。中午约了旧同事吃饭。星期四想带老妈和小君出去。这两个月大家都在轮流生病。原本应该有更多时间能陪她们出门，但是因为魔头们生病，自己生病，所以就没能出去。

喜欢范范

一直很喜欢这个歌手。从十多年前开始。她刚出道的时候。因为她的歌都很好听，就是我喜欢的那一类型的歌曲。刚看了她上康熙的最新一集。这一集很精彩，很好笑。我笑到眼泪都快流出来了。喜欢她的真和善。我曾经在念书时期的某一年，每天播放她的歌曲。每晚都听，就是「因为」那张专辑。每一首歌都超好听。当然可能也和那一年的心情有很大的关系。听她唱歌，是一种很舒服的感觉。

谁的末日

末日的脚步近了，但是没有末日的感觉。 更像自己的末日。 今天的心情真的就很末日。 明天的应该也是。。。后天的。。。然后。。。

Visit ah lian

Today went to visit ah lian and bb jayen. tianyan and kelvin went also. Had a chat with them. all on baby, pregnancy, delivery, post delivery etc. Hubby came to fetch me after that at 4 plus. He just came bk from overseas. And we went back jurong at about 5.30pm. And the monsters are happy to see my hubby back. Leng still a bit cough. San fever under control.

Talk nonsense

My san san just now woke up....like wan to puke. Then i quickly take dustbin and put infont of her. Then she suddenly lean her head backward, seated position, and look at the ceiling or look at me....not sure, coz her eyes not focused. Then start to talk nonsense again. Not sure what she say...but i heard she call me... But dun know what is it about....she also mention my hubby..."妈妈。。。。。＂，＂爸爸。。。。。。＂.then cry a bit and i say i put wet towel on her forehead, she say ok. When i take the towel, she refused to let me put. I fed the stronger fever medicine. The fever still very high. Dun know if i should go sleep first or wait a while......

Still fever

I just fed med to san san at 12am. She is still having high fever at 39.6 I am thinking if i should use the stronger fever med now. Or i should wait another hour. So that in between, the gap is not that big and i can fall back to the other fever med when the fever didnt go down. One is 4 hours interval and the stronger one is 6 hours interval.maybe i will feed at 1am if temp still as high, and at 4am feed another type. Will have to set alarm to wake up at 4am. I am very used to sleeping late and sleeping very little. I think the sense of responsibilty of being a mother, can overcome alot of things.very naturally u will do alot of things which u never thought u will be able to do, and the sense of duty is very strong.i can dun sleep for a few days if i have to do so, but i cannot do it for a long time. Age is catching up also, so i dont have that much energy.hope tomolo san san will be better. Recently she keep falling sick, and she has lost alot of weight already. Her round face has become pointed.

Shock

I got a shock when i went for sophie wedding dinner just now. Thought there are other teachers, end up i am the only one..haha..so stressed. Even though i have taught the boys at the same table, but that was such a long time ago, and i cant remember most of them, except for weiwen, yuanjie, chenghong and kaijian. Some of the names i still remember, but i cannot link to their faces. I thought i can chit chat with some of my old friends, but end up chatting with my old students. But i had a good exchange of ideas with weiwen. Can see that all of them have grown up....and i am old already. Time really flies. Attending wedding dinner is always what i like, as i like sharing the blissful moments of others. It is a once in a lifetime event, and being a part of it is also a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Two down

San san yesterday also down with fever. So fed med at 2.30am for both of them. This morning went to gp and take more med. and come back already 10am, so didnt manage to go yamaha lesson. San san suppose to have mini concert today. Sighz....anyway she also not well enough to go. Leng seems to be in better condition, but this week she miss the lesson, next two weeks n lessons, so the next lesson will be next year already. San still got lesson next week. Hopefully the falling sick season will stop.

Not again

My big girl just now start running fever. These few weeks really rotating to fall sick. I have recovered. But my san san still having runny nose and phelgm. And now leng leng down with fever. Later i will have to wake up at 2.30am to feed med. will set alarm later. Or maybe i will just wait till 2.30 then go sleep. Dun know if she is able to attend yamaha tomolo. If still not well, i will keep her at my mum house, then i bring san san there. Hope this time she recover fast, if not she will lose weight again. She is so skinny already.

Plans for this weekend

Tomolo morning my hubby will be flying to malaysia for a short trip. Will come back on sunday afternoon. I have lesson in the morning and lesson in the afternoon. So the kids all with my mum. I will probably come back in the evening. Saturday morning i will bring the monsters for music lesson, then maybe go library a while. After that back to jurong. And evening will go ex jwss student wedding dinner. As for sunday, i have lessons in the morning. After that see how timing goes, visiting ah lian in the afternoon. Then night time back to yishun.

Meeting fang

Today afternoon met fang for lunch. She had medical appointment at mt E. so we met at orchard. Went orchard point mushroom pot. Thanks for the treat. We had a very long chat...from 1pm to about 4.30 pm. Have not seen her for quite a while. hopefully everything for her will be good. esp the operation on her hand next year end. After lunch with her, i still had a few places to go. Promise the kids i will borrow books for them and went robinsons to check out shoes for them. But very limited. I think raffles city one will be better.

丑闻

又一个婚外情丑闻。 保密功夫做得不错，等到引咎辞职后才公诸于世。 应该只有领导团队的人才有这样的特别待遇。 不然早就成为各大媒体的头条，怎么可能现在才曝光。 我个人觉得，网民把女方揪出来并没有错。因为她不是局外人，她是当事人。做错事，必须有承担的勇气。 早知今日何必当初。如果一开始就知道对方已婚，还坚持搞婚外情，那没法原谅。因为这是一种选择，自己既然这样选，就该知道东窗事发后必须付出的代价。everything is a package. 你可以选择快乐，但是必须有原则。前提应该是对方已离婚，或未婚，反正要单身。自己也必须离婚，或未婚或单身。这是游戏规则，违反了后果自负。 特别是公众人物，私生活一定是摊开来，没法隐藏的。不想面对媒体的包围，就遵守游戏规则吧。 我对第三者是没有成见的。要看情况而论。如果是不知道自己是第三者的那些人，我认为情有可原。因为他们也是受害者。但是知情者就不同，我觉得享受了快乐就必须承担后果。这本来就是一整个配套。不要因为暂时的快乐，短暂的快乐而让自己陷入这样不堪的处境。当你觉得遇见了一个人，有相见恨晚的感觉，再回头想想，在很久以前，也有那样的一个人给你同样的感觉，但是因为生活的种种繁琐的事情，把原本能够很单纯的感情，变得复杂，变得失去原味，变得平淡无奇。人在安稳的生活呆久了，就想要点刺激，想要过更有挑战性的生活。这是屁股痒，吃饱撑着。在每天惊心动魄的生活中，又向往安定。但是不管再激情，再多火花的感情，最后都会升华，不可能永远处于这样的阶段。对我来说，这是人生不同阶段的成长。当然最初遇人不淑，后来遇见对的人，这样的组合，我当然给予祝福，但是前提还是，请照着游戏规则走。不要在不清不楚的状态发展新恋情。让家里的那个人最后一个才知道真相是很残忍的，对方应该要是第一个被告知的才对。因为了解而分开，我认为没有错，只要分开后大家都找回自己的生活，纠缠不清才要命。但是不管怎样，一切都要照着游戏规则走。

Gathering nie friends

This afternoon lunch at suntec loving hut. A small gathering. Zhen last minute cannot make it on time as she had to bring bb for injection. Ron went overseas. So we have kenneth and his wife and bb boy, jia and lin, and me and little june. A lunch and chit chat session. After that i send little june back jurong. Next year will organize another gathering. Hopefully all can come. Hopefully i wun forget, if i forget, hope someone can remind me....hope at least we can gather once in a year.

斗嘴

魔头杉：我叫蚊子叮你。 我：我不怕。 魔头杉：我叫它叮很大力，很痛。 我：我才不怕。 魔头杉：你怕！ 我：我不怕！ 魔头杉：你坏蛋！ 我：对，你坏蛋！ 魔头杉：是你，你坏蛋！ 我：对啊，就是你咯，你坏蛋。 每天的例常斗嘴。

Discipline monster san

My san san is very unmanageable this morning. Very cranky mood. Throw tantrum and scold almost everyone in the house. Just because of a piece of cake. She wanted to 'steal' little june piece of cake for breakfast when she finish her share, so we say no. And she start to scream and cry. And scold us. Say we naughty and stupid. And say throw me into dustbin. Of coz she say in chinese. ＂妈妈坏蛋，爸爸坏蛋，姐姐坏蛋，怡君坏蛋。＂＂你很stupid" etc.so i cane her. Many many many times. More than 30 strokes. And she keep challenging me, say not pain. So i cane her more. And she never learn from mistake, one day can repeat this kind of thing a few times. The two other sisters never create this kind of problem for us. And she scream and yell for very long. The pitch so high, i think she has reached the highest pitch one can have. 我的心也很痛，但是不打不成器。if dun teach now, she is going to be even more difficult to handle in future. Now only four years old already 无法无天，need to really discipline her properly.

Little june home

Brought little june back for a short stay since i have no lesson tomolo and tuesday. Will bring her out for gathering with nie classmates on tuesday. Then will bring her back jurong. Since i got lessons on weds morning and afternoon. Just a short stay in yishun, but my mum can make use of the two days to go out and relax. Can go out with my aunt.will try to offload her whenever possible. Little june likes to stay yishun also, can play and sleep together with her two sisters.

纪念日

忘了多少年没有庆祝结婚周年纪念日。 应该是第二个孩子出世之后就没有闲情逸致了。 算一算，明年的五月就步入第九年了。 好快，十周年都快到了。 生活很平静，踏实。 可能年纪也大了， 现在更关心的是生活中的柴米油盐酱醋茶。 不管选择什么样的生活方式， 都要有所牺牲。只要自己觉得值得就行了。无需向任何人交代。

末日

如果末日就要来临， 你想牵谁的手走过回忆。 倒带过去的一点一滴， 在地球毁灭的前夕。 如果末日就要来临， 你想让谁长眠在你怀里。 定格某一个感动的瞬息， 在地球毁灭的前夕。 如果末日就要来临， 你有没有遗憾留在心底， 想对谁说的对不起， 是不是已经来不及。

Plans for next week

Next week is a gathering week. I managed to organize an nie classmate gathering. On tuesday. Only ron will not be able to come as he is overseas. Thurs i am planning to meet up with fang. Hopefully ok. Have not seen her for quite a long time. Saturday i am attending an ex jwss student wedding. time really flies, now my first few batches of students are getting married. will be able to see some of my ex collegues at the dinner.Sunday i am planning to visit lian. But still kiv as she may be too tired for visit. Busy week for next week. But looking forward to it.

感动

谢谢你曾经感动过。为一件很平凡的小事。 那些年的共患难，也是我很珍惜的时光。 虽然有些记忆不太清晰，但现在我也感动于你曾经感动的瞬息。

解梦

今天早上醒来。奇怪的是，竟然还记得梦里的一个画面。 我前面的牙齿，下排的其中一颗，有两个＂洞＂，应该是蛀牙。 我知道梦见掉牙是凶兆，但是我的梦没有牙掉的情形。 只是蛀牙。要怎么解？ 找了周公解梦，没有明确的解释。 我是蛮相信梦的，因为身边就有两个前同事， 说过她们的亲身经验，所以我是相信的。当然不是所有的梦都有意思。

暂停

无病呻吟的时间暂停。 我看戏的时间又到了。

好近好远

突然想到顾城的一首诗。 「你，一会看我，一会看云。我觉得，你看我时很远，你看云时很近。」 人的感情好像也是这样。 好像距离很近，但却又遥不可及。 咫尺天涯。 感情跟时间应该不成正比。 不是认识越久就感情越深。 有些人认识很久，却越来越陌生。 是人心在变，还是一开始就没弄懂对方是什么样的一个人？ 还是因为认识的时间长了，就发霉了，变成另外一种味道。 朋友的交情不能以时间单位衡量计算。 自以为了解一个自以为认识很久的人， 最后可能变得很不堪。 人生没有几个十年，更何况是二十年。 二十年是什么？ 它什么也不是。没有了意义，剩下的也只是一个普通的数字而已。 二十年。是近还是远？ 心？感情？时间？距离？ 不管多少年，会出卖你的感情的人，还是会把它廉价出售。 这样的情况，应该不是二十年前没有认清对方。 而是人心会变，二十年的改变，早已面目全非。 死心眼的人没有改变，又怎么看得见别人的改变呢？

喜欢什么

你知道我喜欢什么吗？ 连我自己都不是很清楚的事， 怎么能希望别人会了解。 喜欢什么样的人？ 喜欢听什么样的音乐？ 喜欢吃什么食物？ 喜欢喝什么饮料？ 喜欢看什么样的电影？ 喜欢去什么样的地方旅行？ 喜欢穿什么款式的服装？ 喜欢交什么样的朋友？ 喜欢在闲暇时做什么事情？ 喜欢过什么样的生活？ 很多时候我的喜欢已经变成习惯。 而且浑然天成，自然得很。 我真的喜欢做这些事情吗？ 我真的喜欢吃这些食物吗？ 曾经在同样的一所学校教课时，吃了将近两年的同样一个摊位的食物。是每天都吃同一个摊位的食物。每天。 应该没有人能做到吧？ 我的喜欢可能不是真的喜欢。 曾经的喜欢变成习惯。所以就习惯接受这样的喜欢。 物极必反。因为喜欢就每天重复，这样应该不好吧？ 因为喜欢某件衣服，而买了同样款式，不同的颜色。 这样的事情我也常做。 因为习惯穿某种款式的鞋子，所以买了很多双一模一样的。 穿坏了，还能换一双一样的。这样的事情我也常做。 一成不变。死心眼。 真的还弄不懂喜欢什么。还是习惯的真的就是最喜欢的？ 死心眼的人如果有一天突然＂开窍＂，应该会很可怕吧？

自然瘦身法

本人最常被迫接受的一种方法。 每次生病之后都会瘦一点。 小病瘦一点，大病瘦一圈。 这次小病让我又瘦了0•5公斤。 其实我现在根本不想瘦身，因为我的问题是局部的问题。 要瘦的不是全身，只是某些部位而已。 39•5 公斤。见不到4的开头了，如果身高也能这样就好。 加个一公分，就好了。

So tired

So so tired today. Fell asleep while reading just now. Energy level low. Have to re charge. Need to sleep earlier today. Hopefully my san san dun give me anymore new patterns today

太高调

最近我很欣赏的音乐王子，绯闻也太多了吧。 很不喜欢这样的感觉，虽然关我屁事。 就是不喜欢太高调的艺人。 喜欢绯闻少，默默耕耘的那种。 讨厌炒作，虽然在娱乐圈的生存之道就是要有新闻。 不管绯闻真假，觉得有实力的人应该以行动证明。 与其浪费时间在这种没有价值的绯闻上，还不如多花时间创作更多作品。 还是蛮令人失望的。

不切实际的梦想

梦想往往都不切实际。 我的梦想是。。。。。。 应该说这个moment想的是。。。。。。 希望在这个很小的空间， 开辟一个真正的花园城市。 很浪费资源的梦想。 想要一年四季，躺在花海中欣赏大自然。 想要看一整片的花，不需要再乘搭飞机到国外。 真的就很喜欢花。 原来一直就是个花痴。

Movie today

Brought my girl to watch frankenweenie today. She dun like. I think because of the color. Black and white kind, and the characters inside all look like monsters. She was so scared, keep grabbing my hand. Actually the idea is good, about a boy love for his dog, and how he get the dog back to life.some kind of freaking Science experiment.but i dun like the non colouful kind of anmations, and of coz the characters all look very disturbing.and pace is slow. scenes are disturbing. and cemetry, dead creatures, horrifying faces of characters,not my type of show. Still prefer the colouful rise of the guardians kind of show.

厨房的雨一直下

厨房还在下雨。 大概要下一整夜吧。 我的床单洗了两遍。 应该还要再洗第三遍。 只有在这一方面，我会有点洁癖。 因为病菌看不见，多洗几遍自己也比较安心。 当然还要消毒。这些都能做到。 唯独那只已经睡着的魔头杉不能消毒。 不要再生病了。 都不知道刚刚病过，是不是才好，还是还没好。现在又来一次历史重演。 这两个月真的是破财消灾。 想要省钱，还真的就不能省。

好笑

今天的这集「真爱趁现在」超好笑的。两个男主角喝醉酒睡在一起。爆笑。厉害的演员把不同角色都演出特色。想到之前的「爱上巧克力」也有这个演员，但是他演起来完全没有上一个角色的影子，真的很棒。捉住每一个角色的不同点很重要。演戏不能是做自己。想到「螺丝小姐要出嫁」里头的男主角，完全就是「小资女孩」里同一个人，也是另一部戏的角色。同样的感觉。很不对，这样的感觉。怎么可能「高承宽」、「秦子奇」、「项天齐」都一样味道。他们再相似也该有不同之处吧。应该发挥这些不同的地方。而不是一直捉住共同之处。演戏真的单靠帅不行，一定要有实力，不然看久了会腻。所以「螺丝小姐」我已经不看了。现在只剩两部还在看的新剧。

Kitchen flooding

My san san has alot of phelgm, and sleeping in aircon room make her cough. Then just now she puke. So i got to change bed sheets and her clothing etc. now have do do washing. And when i go kitchen, i found the floor wet. Really jialat. And the rubbish chute like waterfall, i dun even have to open it, can hear the water sound. Internally my pipes are not leaking, so something outside is leaking water. I woke my hubby up to check, really not good with all this technical stuffs. And he just take a look, say it external problem, and go back sleep....haha....din even bother about the flooding kitchen. Dun know tomolo morning what will happen to my kitchen if the water din stop flowing. I also cant be bother. Sms my neighbour upstairs. Leng leng gd friend JR's mum. No reply. Haha. Of coz, normal people at this time will be sleeping, who on earth will be like me watching drama series. So dun know if her kitchen also flood with water.

No pictures

Have not been posting any photos on blog for a long time. Reason is using my desktop to view blog got problem, photos also cannot upload. So i can only update blog by typing wordings using ipad. And ipad i cant upload photos. Dont know whats wrong with my desktop, maybe getting old.

迁就

不能将就，只能迁就。 感情不能将就。 婚姻需要迁就。

Maybe a gathering

The last time i seen my nie classmates was in 2010 dec. i just checked my blog entry. That means last year we didnt meet up. Am i supposed to organize it a yearly basis? I cant remember if i said that. Thinking of organizing one this month. Not yet contact them yet, but i guess zhen probably cannot come. She has family stuffs to settle. I think ron and kenneth should be ok. I have yet to see kenneth's bb boy. Will be a good time. Jia should be alright too if she din go overseas. Lin should be ok if schedule fits in. Cant believe 2 years have passed since we last meet up. I missed those nie days. Those days at the old nie bukit timah campus.

Plans for tomolo

Tomolo morning bring my girl to pri sch for prepartory course. Then after that maybe bring her for another movie. Maybe after that go library. Going library is my daily routine. I dont even know which books i have borrowed before. Today i borrowed 48 books in total. I think my girl has cleared half of them already. So tomolo have to return and borrow new ones. Very tiring daily job of carrying books. But the kids are happy when i came home with new library books and those quest cards from library.

Meet up

Today met sandra, alice and kathleen for tea and chit chat. Had a very good chit chat session for a few hours. Hope to meet up with some others also. But sometimes really difficult, as my free time and others free time always different.

看新剧

最近又发现了一部还可以看的新剧。剧名不怎么样，但看了几集后，感觉还好。「姐姐立正向前走」，又是姐弟恋的剧情。但还蛮喜欢林心如，也蛮喜欢林更新，他一直让我想到「十四爷」，「步步惊心」里我最喜欢的其中一个角色。只是觉得他的古装造型比较有魅力。

San san dentist visit

Today brought san san to gpa dental at united square. My san san first visit to dentist. The dentist is quite nice. Very patient. Show her all the tools, let her hold the tools. Then show her how the tool is use. But san san is very stubborn and strong willed child. So despite the dentist being very nice, she still kick up a big fuss. Once the tool gets inside her mouth, she start to cry and scream and yell. And we got to help to held her hands in position, and she will start to kick. Haha. But she got the hole in the tooth filled up. Hopefully she will start to brush her teeth. But very difficult, becoz after that she still say she is not going to brush her teeth. Leng leng seen the dentist also. Do washing for teeth. She is ok. just that she seen san san screaming so badly, so she thought it is a horrible experience. but after that she finds everything ok. Everything add up, the total damage for today is 300 bucks.

Tooth decay

San san has a hole in one of her tooth. I think tomolo we have to bring her to see dentist. Result of her own stubborness, refused to brush her teeth properly. Sometimes she for show take tooth brush and act like brushing, but she din brush. So now she has to face the consequences. And she need to see tcm for her stomach also. Already more than one week, but her frequency of passing motion is still a bit too many. After every meal, she will pass motion. Though she dont complain of stomachache already,but the stools are still quite mashy. Each day she eats five meals, and she will pass motion five times. Three main meals and two snack times. I guess time for the tooth fairy to come and colect her tooth.

Very nice movie

Rise of the guardians. Very nice movie. Good story. Meaningful. Children will like. Even for me, someone who dont really like to watch animations, like this movie also. If compare to lorax, this is even better. Very special plot, how they put all these children favourite characters together and have a story. Santa claus, tooth fairy, easter bunny, sand man, jack frost. A must watch movie. I brought san san and leng leng to watch today at northpoint. And leng leng enjoyed the show alot. Certain part she find funny and will laugh. San san only watch the front part, after that i saw her hugging the popcorn and fell asleep. And when the show coming to an end, she suddenly woke up and start to watch again. The part where she fell asleep with the pop corn box in her arms looks so funny. Leng leng love the show so much that she say she want to watch a second time. It was a really nice nice show.children enjoyed the show, but they are still not able to understand the bigger meaning in the show. I think slowly they will appreciate more. I like the way they try to put the "belief"/"faith" message across. We are what we believed. If we choose to believe in the bad things, the bad things will come and stay in us. And we will not see the good things anymore. Only when you believe in something then you will be able to "see" that something. We should always have this faith and belief in us, if not there will only be darkness and no hope. It is a choice, to believe in the correct things and choose to be the correct person. In the show, jack frost finding his own identity and from disbelieving to fighting his way to become the guardian. One of the guardians for the children of the world. Certain part of the show is very touching. Good movie.