favourtism

Maybe I am guilty of that.
But mine is not really consistent.
Whoever made me angry, whether its monster 1 or monster 2,
I will be angry the same.
Whoever that makes me happy by being obedient,
I will show more tlc.

yesterday nite, at in law's house. My big girl was cutting something using scissors. And san san was doing puzzle. san san dun know how to do, so she ask big monster to help her. then big monster refused to help. Then san san cry, scream, yell. That was very very loud. I wanted to take the cane and cane both of them. But decided to let my in laws handle the way they want to since it happened in their house.

Then big monster still refused to help and san san keep crying. So i scolded big monster for not helping her younger sister, which is one of the expectation I expect from her being an elder sister.

She went over to help reluntantly and started to yell at san san, asking her to do the puzzle herself. Then she started crying also.By now ah san stop crying, as big monster already went over to her side to help. Now its big monster cry.

My FIL open the fridge, take out a sweet and give to big monster, asking her not to cry. When san san saw the sweet, she stretch out her hand wanted to take, but FIL take his hand away from her and pass it to big monster. san san pause for a about 5-6 seconds, I already forsee a volcano eruption. And true enough, after that few seconds, san san exploded and cry even louder than b4.

I am actually very upset. Why is it that the elder one always the one being favoured? Yes, san san may be very unmanageable and unpredictable, but she is still small. when big monster was that small, she was very cranky as well.I am glad that my parents dun practise favourtism and i am most thankful that I have a brother who take so good care of me from young.I am also secretly glad that I did not give birth to a boy. If not I'm sure under that kind of "traditional" thinking, the "eldest", the "heir" type of mentality, the child is going to be completely spolit by the old folks.

I immediately told big monster to split that sweet into half and give meimei half, if not she cannot eat that also. Then my MIL went to find some more sweets, wannted to give san san. Then big monsters saw the new sweets, she pass the one FIL give her to meimei. But sansan threw it on the floor.

Please dun think that a 3 year old cannot think or analyse. She can also sense the "unfairness" in treatment. and it may leads to her trying to get more attention in a negative way.

But leave it to them. I dun want to appear to be a "bad person" doing bad things. In my own house, I will definitely punished both. But there, they cannot stand the way we punished kids, so just leave to them. But really hope they can be more fair in treatment.

But the image of the hand that pull away from sansan left too big an impact on me. I keep visualizing my FIL's hand moving away. The deliberate attempt to prevent the sweet from being taken away by san san. As a mother, I left sad for my san san. The image was so vivid that after one day, its still so crystal clear. I hope my san san will not remember the hand that pull away from her. I hope she will not feel the same way i feel. I want my san san to be happy.